My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
