so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
