i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
