been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
