no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We have so much sex to catch up on
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
