Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
