Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
