Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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