I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
