im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
