Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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