did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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