i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
