ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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