the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
