just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pants are for mortals
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
