I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
