Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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