your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
