no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
