now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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