We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
