it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
