Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
