It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
