It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you inspire me to be a worse person
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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