They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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