ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
