hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
