sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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