I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
