Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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