I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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