hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am naked and annoyed.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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