She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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