Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Vodka?
Forever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
