ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
honey bunches of taint.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's blow job season.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
