The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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