so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
