i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
