i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
