I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
