If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
