R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
