I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
