Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
