i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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