Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
