That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
