Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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