hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
