Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
