Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
